Reggie Boucher and the Poola-Mennace

“The sound of laughter, eve-ry-where, with the smell of chlorine in the air! Take a dip too cool off for the day, take a sip to shew off all your stress aw-ay! Jump in a pool and swim-m-m, get in line for the wonderful rides! Get your arcade tickets and win-n-n, we’ve got everything you would like! Take your Cool Poola-Cola, You know place to go-a’s at Tampa’s Po-o-o-o-o-la WO-O-O-O-O-RLD!”

This annoyingly catchy song rings across all the parks at Poola World, a theme park built in Tampa, Florida that is made up of several rides, hotels, restaurants, and, of course, pools. Some come to ride The Odyssey, a mechanical boat loaded with several gallons of water to spray at you as you travel the “Ocean Storm”. Others go to “The Launch Zone” and ride The Neptune Nullifier, a rollercoaster that “travels to the stars” and goes under pools where people are swimming and then launches you into a pool. Heck, some people just came for the Cool Poola-Cola, the soft drink that is only sold at Poola World and is all the Craze. Finally, there are the select few who work there. Whether they are just trying to meet ends or have dreamed of working here their whole lives, they all get up at the Poola World provided quarters, and get to work.

On one such day, a young man named Reggie was watching over children and adults alike at Kiddie Lagoon on his lifeguard chair. His brown braids swung in the wind, whipping his crisp, reddish tan. He scratched his rough beard while his eyes patrolled the sea of kids flailing their arms. He had trained some rookie lifeguards earlier that morning and was hoping to get the attention of his manager. For five years, Reggie had been working for the promotion of Poola World Medic. He’s pulled out of his web of thoughts by the loud sound of a peppy woman’s voice announcing closing time.

He heads back to his quarters, exhausted from a long day of making sure people don’t drown when the voice of a the peppy announcer blared across the park. “Reggie Boucher, please report to Manager Wagner’s office.”

Reggie reported to Mr. Wagner’s office, trying to keep his cool. Was he in trouble? Was he about to be rewarded? Although Reggie was calm and collected on the outside, his brain was stressed about these possibilities. After a few minutes of walking, he reaches his office.

The clicking of a computer echoes through the empty through the luxurious waiting room. Reggie walks down the seemingly endless path towards the receptionist’s desk. “Hi, I’m Reggie Boucher. I’m here to see-” His sentence is cut short by the receptionist’s sharp tone. “He’s been waiting for you. Go on in.” Reggie takes a deep breath and prepares himself for whatever happens next.

Reggie opens the door and is welcomed by a gluttonous blob of a man. “Hello Mr. Boucher,” says Mr. Wagner, “Please, take a seat.” Reggie silently pulls out a chair and sits down. “Mr. Boucher, you have been working here for eight years and have been a veteran lifeguard for nearly five years. You have trained all our new lifeguards and you’ve certainly gained the attention of the higher-ups here at Poola World.

Reggie straightens up in his seat. He already knew what Mr. Wagner was going to say. This was the moment he had been waiting for his whole career. “Mr. Boucher, on behalf of the Poola-Co and myself, I’m promoting you to Poola World Medic! Congratulations Mr.Boucher! We are all very proud of you here at Kiddie Lagoon!”

Overwhelmed with joy, Reggie vigorously shakes Mr. Wagner’s hand. “Thank you so much, sir! I won’t let you down!” With a smile stretched across his face, he ran back to his quarters, his pearly whites illuminating the street. Once he got back to his room, he went to sleep. He couldn’t get much sleep with energy rushing through his body. He couldn’t wait to start tomorrow.

The next day, Reggie reported to the Poola World Medic’s office; his office. Nearly ten minutes after he opened up his office, he had already gotten his first patient.  A young woman entered the room, holding her son’s hand. Reggie cheerfully asked the woman, “Hello ma’am, how can I help you today?” “My son has been sick all night at the hotel, and I think he’s been drinking to much Cool Poola-Cola,” The woman replied. Reggie examines the boy, acknowledging his queasy face. He gave them some Pepto-Bismol and sent them on their way. Nearly fifteen minutes, a bulky man stumbled in complaining about the same problem. This process repeated itself all day, and the next day, and the next day. Nearly a week had passed with nonstop reports of people getting ill from drinking Cool Poola-Cola.

Reggie began to become suspicious of the ingredients in the soft drink. He wanted to right a complaint to the Poola-Co Headquarters, but he didn’t want to risk making his higher ups getting fed up with him when he was so early into his job. He needed real, physical proof that Cool Poola-Cola needed an ingredient change.

He went to one of the many Sea Soda Stands and got a bottle of Cool Poola-Cola. He went into the lab behind his office and tested learned the components of the soda. After hours of study and research, he discovered that the soda contained chlorine. He ran for the phone.

He quickly dialed the number to the for Poola-Labs. “Hello, Poola-Labs, how can I help you today,” The peppy male voice asked. “I’ve discovered a concentrate of chlorine in Cool Poola-Cola and I believe it’s getting people sick. I think the bottling plant should look into this and figure out what’s going on,” Reggie stated. His statement was met with several seconds of silence. “Sir, I want you to forget what you’ve learned and never talk about this to anyone, EVER.” The phone clicks followed by a buzz, indicating that the man had hung up. Reggie couldn’t quite grasp what had just happened, but he knew something was amiss.

Reggie knew he had to do something, so he came up with an insane plan. He was about to break into Poola-Labs Headquarters. This would mean that all of his work to get his dream job would be wasted, but his job was to help people, and that’s what he was going to do. He began walking towards the building, prepared to learn the truth.

He uses a crowbar and pries open the air vent that leads to the main laboratory. He crawls in, stealthy like, and makes his way down the steel labyrinth for nearly an hour until he found a dark room with nothing but a large computer on the end of the wall.

After exiting the cramped metal tunnel, he approaches the computer with cation. He is unsure if he is being watched or not, but he can’t help feeling like there were eyes pried on him. He reaches the keyboard, and suddenly, the computer activates, showing Pool-Co’s original plan. It all starts with a video of a business meeting.

It shows three people sitting at a table: The CEO of Pool-Co, Gertrud Ellis, a man in a lab coat, and a Pool-Co financial advisor. “Alright Dr. Allen, what did you want to discuss,” Ms. Ellis says. “Okay, so what if we took Cool Pool-Cola and put chlorine in it and see how much chlorine a human can have,” says Dr. Allen. Ms. Ellis sits silently for awhile and finally replies. “What the hell, might as well do something besides building MORE pools.” The financial advisor finally chimes in. “How do your people at Pool-Labs plan on paying for this?” Dr. Allen replies, “We’ll get our own budget.” Ms. Ellis says, “We don’t want to buy extra chlorine so you’re going to have to share a budget so don’t waste it.”

The computer shuts off and the lights flicker on and reveal the large lab shown through the window beside the computer. “So, you found out the truth?” Reggie, shocked by the voice behind him, turned around and came face to face with Ms. Ellis and Dr. Allen. “How could you do this,” Reggie questioned. Dr. Allen, “Oh, That’s not all Mr. Boucher. You recall that Pool-Labs and Pool-Co share a budget. “Yeah, what does that have to do with your awful experiments?” “Well, we couldn’t afford more chlorine so we just used the pool water and we ALSO couldn’t afford a filter so…” Before Dr. Allen finished his statement, Reggie was already about to puke. Reggie stated in an ill slur, “The people deserve to know the truth!”

“You can’t,” Mrs. Ellis, “this research is very important, for some reason.” While Mrs. Ellis and Dr. Allen were trying to figure out why they even started this project, Reggie ran towards the door. He escapes the lab with little resistance which was Reggie found surprising and convenient. He ran to the announcement center to reveal the truth.

Once Reggie reached the announcement center, he turned on the microphone so he was broadcasting all across Poola World and begins to say, “People of Poola World! You have been lied to! The park’s famous soft drink, Cool Poola-Cola, is made out of pool water. USED POOL WATER!” Upon this information, every tourist in Poola World vomited simultaneously.

Poola World was shut down after all the vomit created a toxic environment. CEO Gertrud Ellis and Dr. Allen were arrested with charges of breaking FDA laws and being total idiots. Reggie lost his job and with no more dreams he knew not what he would do next. He only knew that he did the right thing. He was awarded with a Nobel Peace Prize for his honorable actions.